Is the universal OS headed toward continuous expansion, a big crunch, or a steady state? And which should we prefer, anyway? A whirlwind tour of the past and future history of Debian, from as close to our big bang as can still be observed, through the geological present of the last internet decade, and beyond. With stops along the way to peer into some wormholes to alternate universes of app stores, cell phones, and derivative distributions. It's all about the big questions, not any particular answers.